


Human Contact

by okama



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Age Difference, Aversion to touch, F/M, Touch-Starved, yeah that's right I'm using contradicting tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 09:39:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6074353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okama/pseuds/okama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you deny yourself something for too long, when you eventually give in you can never get enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Contact

**Author's Note:**

> Ashura can be recruited on both routes, but I think he sits a bit better with the Nohr group. A few lines are from the amie room; his dialogue/vocal clips from there is actually what prompted this. Some of his lines made my heart race a little~

The fact that Kamui spared him in the first place should have tipped Ashura off that the princess was a little odd. Her siblings had all stood around trying to convince her that taking him in was a bad idea, which he wasn't too offended by, but she instead offered her hand and asked him to swear allegiance. Barely believing his good luck, he did so gladly.

He didn't regret it, but he did wish he had known exactly what he had signed up for. Despite his family's old connections to Hoshido, he had no real opinion on joining Nohr's side; he saw that Kamui did her best to avoid causalities where possible, but war was war. The other fighters in the small group the young woman had amassed all had their problems, but seemed to be generally good sorts. Ashura still avoided them as much as possible as he was not much used to social interaction these days, however he couldn't avoid the one-on-one conversations Kamui instigated. She seemed to do the same with everyone, but did she really have to be so... forward?

Currently he was up in her quarters; despite his numerous attempts to tell her that the others wouldn't be happy with him being there, Kamui just laughed and rubbed at his arm. Her touches were given freely and without thought, and the first time she had reached out he'd almost jumped in shock; he had barely managed to stay the whole time without running away. Once she'd realised Ashura was uncomfortable she had apologised, but the sad look on her face made him say that he wasn't *that* upset by it... which might have been a mistake, as she had smiled wide and ruffled his hair. It was a cute smile, but still.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when her hand moved from his shoulder and brushed his neck. He let out a sound of surprise and pulled back, seeing Kamui's eyes widen. “Ashura, did I hurt you?”

“Sorry... I'm not used to... being touched there...” He managed to get out, feeling his face redden.

Kamui watched him for a moment, her blood-red eyes roving over his face. “You're really not used to people touching you, are you?”

“Well, milady, most people don't go for the throat unless they're trying to kill someone.” Her face also reddened slightly at his words, so Ashura kept going before she could respond. “For the last decade or so I've not really had much interaction with people that was friendly, let alone of a kind where contact was welcome. This is the first time I've been surrounded by so many people and not had to worry about someone greeting me with a dagger.”

“Well, I'm glad you're comfortable enough here that you can relax your defences a bit,” The princess reached out slowly, her hand resting lightly on his forearm. “I want you to feel safe around me too, so if you want me to stop touching you--”

“N-No, that's not...” Ashura paused, trying to work out what he wanted to say. He sighed, scratching at the mess of hair on his head as he looked away. “I feel plenty safe around you, milady. If you had meant me any harm, I wouldn't be alive now. It's just... been a while since anyone's touched me without there being a threat or something else behind it. It's... nice, actually.”

A warm hand cupped his cheek and turned him back to face Kamui, her eyes shining as she gave him a soft smile. “In that case, I'll just have to get you used to it again.”

Oh boy. What had he gotten himself into?

 

Over the next few weeks, Ashura got used to fighting with the various members of the army, though he generally stuck back with Kamui more often that not. After finding him sitting away from the main group again, she had made him go and interact with the others, which didn't turn out to be so bad. There was another ex-thief, Zero, who once you got past his filthy language and innuendo was just a young man who had been hurt too many times to let any one close; not that he'd ever say such an observation out loud, lest he find an arrow somewhere unpleasant. Nyx, the child sorcerer, ended up being much older than he thought, and was able to discuss social and political events he vaguely recalled from his childhood with the clarity of someone who had lived through them. The three foreign fighters – Lazward, Odin, and Luna – all had a shared past they never spoke about, but otherwise were dedicated to their individual lieges. And the young shinobi Suzukaze reminded him of his younger self, desperate to show his honour and fight for a master, but he was lost in guilt of past deeds to realise he had the opportunity now. Finding out that he wasn't along in regretting his past actions and looking for redemption made it easier to feel that he had a place in the group.

Kamui had found him not long after he'd come to this realisation, and during their talk he found himself talking about dreams, causing him to laugh at himself. Kamui had teased him about looking younger, and while he'd told her off jokingly, it had made Ashura think about just how old he was compared to her. Not as old as some of the others joked that he was, but technically old enough to be the princess's father... which was a thought that kept going around his head the next time she called him to her loft for a 'bonding session', as she called them.

She was currently playing with his hair, gently pulling out knots and tangles. It was rather relaxing, and he found himself almost dozing off so he forced himself to open his eyes. He was greeted with the sight of Kamui's face a little closer than he had been expecting, and when she noticed him looking at her she smiled, her warm gaze causing an odd sensation to curl in his chest.

“Your eyes are pretty... I'm kind of jealous.” He said, trying to ignore it.

Kamui's smile became brighter. “Thank you, but I think your eyes are nice as well. They're kind, despite what they must have seen.” As she said this, her hands slipped down to his face, fingertips lightly touching the lines near his eyes.

Ashura fought the urge to jerk back from the gentle touch, his own hands curling into fists. “If you touch me like that... I don't know what I should do.”

Kamui sighed, but her smile stayed in place as her hands dropped to his shoulders. “Don't think you should do anything. You know that if I do anything you don't like, you just have to tell me. You don't need to indulge me just because I'm your leader.”

Even if she said that, Ashura wasn't sure if he even wanted her to stop. If he'd ever be able to tell her to stop.

 

Once Ashura realised that he had actually fallen in love with the princess, he was angry with himself for doing something so foolish, and for letting himself enjoy her innocent affection. He knew that she did the same with everyone else, so there was no reason for him to react as if it her attentions to him were any different. Ashura tried his best to stay away from her, to try and shake himself out of his infatuation, but of course Kamui came to find him. When she thought he was hurt and reached out to him, it took all of his willpower not to lean into it. At some point his aversion to touch had disappeared, at least in Kamui's case, and having avoided her for the last week his body seemed to yearn for it.

Her concerned words for him caused him to empty out his heart, deciding that it was best to be laughed at so that he could move on from his sorry state, but when Kamui responded in kind, he barely knew how to react. He swore to become a better man, a man she could be proud of, and when she slipped her hand inside his rough one he gripped it tightly.

After his confession, Ashura slowly let himself react to Kamui touches; he relaxed his muscles when she would run her hands over his arms and shoulders, closed his eyes and sighed as she brushed through his hair, and leaned into her palms as she cupped and stroked his face.

However, this seemed to prompt Kamui to be more explorative and daring with her touches, and soon he was finding it hard not to start returning the favour. As they hadn't yet told anyone of their commitment to each other, Ashura still felt a bit wrong touching the princess. He was pretty sure her siblings might go for his head once more if they knew, and yet they would have to know eventually. It would most likely be sooner rather than later, because despite the difference in age, Kamui was making him feel like a hot-headed youth again.

Right now, her touch seemed to burn even through his clothes as she traced over his pectoral muscles and collar bones. “Ungh... it's okay... touch me wherever you like,” he gritted out as Kamui's hands hovered near his lower ribs, but when she started to move lower still... “O-Oi, not there...!”

He reached down and took her hands into his. He knew his face was red, but he kept his eyes level with Kamui as she pouted at him. “You just said that I could touch anywhere.”

“I meant within reason.” He muttered, withdrawing his hands and leaning back. “Don't tempt me like that... I won't be able to hold back.”

Kamui just raised an eyebrow at him and smiled. “Well, that would at least make a difference. You know you're allowed to touch me too, right?”

“We're not considered married just yet, Kamui,” Ashura sighed, “Considering who you are, you should at least keep that in mind.”

She only shrugged and moved back into his space, letting her weight fall against his shoulder. Deciding that giving in a little wouldn't hurt, he lifted a hand to her cheek. Kamui's eyes widened, but she quickly leaned into it and cupped it with her own. His other hand moved around her back, and she arched where it came to rest. Ashura slowly rubbed the area, and the sound she made caused him to swallow hard.

“I don't want to steal a kiss... close your eyes, and hold still.” Barely believing he was doing so, he leaned in as the princess did just that and brushed his lips against hers. Kamui pushed up towards him, and as he tilted his head into the kiss he felt her sigh. He drew back and grinned as she tried to follow him. “You're sweet...”

Kamui took his face in both hands and pulled him down for another kiss. Laughing against her mouth, he let both his hands rest on the flare of her hips. She jumped slightly, but didn't stop moving her lips. Curiously, Ashura slowly slid his hands up her sides and felt her shiver. He pulled back again and said, “Kamui... you're not that used to people touching you either, are you?”

“W-Well, my family touch me,” She said, her hands slipping to the front of his cape and fiddling with the gathered material sitting at his throat. “But... no one else. And if it's you touching me... of course I'm going to react.”

Ashura's fingers flexed at her words, a warm, dark feeling beginning to pool in his stomach. Gods, he must be a dirty old man for reacting like this, but now the only thing running through his mind was wanting to touch her more, and see how she would react further. “I want you...”

Kamui's cheeks flushed prettily but she made no attempt to move away, or otherwise seemed uncomfortable with his words. Breathing in deeply, he leant forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Let's talk to your family, okay? Best get that part over with first.” She laughed at that and hugged him, and he revelled in her warmth.

 

 

Despite the disapproving looks – and possibly the scariest-looking scaring smile he had ever seen courtesy of Princess Camilla – there was no actual protest to their relationship, and Ashura felt the weight of that possibility finally leave his shoulders. Kamui had looked so happy, and he was finally able to believe that this was real, that he now had someone who he could share his happiness and sadness with. Someone who he could completely let his guard down with, someone who he could be with... intimately.

It was almost a scary thought, having not considered such things for so long, and yet as Kamui had slowly gotten him used to innocent touches and company, now he had the opportunity for more. And he wanted it.

Ashura was seated on Kamui's bed, leaning against the backboard as the young woman sat partially in his lap, hands currently occupied with undoing his shirt. His own hands were threaded though Kamui's soft hair and cupping her jaw, the heel of his palm resting just over her throat and feeling vibrations as Kamui hummed and sighed into their kiss.

He had been determined to take this whole thing slowly, as not only had it been a while for him, but Kamui was new to this despite how she acted at times. Ashura had promised her to treat her gently, but the soft noises she was making, the sensation of her hands running over his bare skin and the shift of weight as she climbed into his lap properly was seriously testing his willpower.

“Ngh... Ah, Kamui...!” Ashura pushed her back, resting his hands on her arms to prevent her from pulling herself forward. “Just... wait a moment.”

Kamui sighed and fidgeted where she sat, which wasn't much better. “You keep holding back, Ashura. You can let go now, relax.” She moved to reach out to him again, but Ashura held her arms to her sides, pulled her to his chest and put his mouth to her pointed ear.

“I'm losing my composure, here... you understand me, right? I want to make you mine.... right now.” He kissed the skin just below on her neck, and Kamui gasped lightly. “But, I want to be gentle with you. So please... just, let me set the pace, okay?”

Ashura pulled back and looked her in the eyes. She bit her lip before leaning leaning back and relaxing her posture. “Okay. Just... touch me? Please?” He remembered her reactions to his touches before, and how despite her habit of giving touch freely, she barely got such treatment back in return. She was just like him, in a way; unused to touch but yearning for it... so now it was time to repay the favour.

“Of course... now stay still.”

He started by rubbing her upper arms, occasionally letting his hands dip down to her forearms and back. Kamui was watching him with amused eyes, so he slipped right down to her hands, brought them to his lips and kissed her fingers. He also dropped a kiss in each palm and felt her fingers flex against his jaw, though she didn't actively touch him. Ashura let them drop back to her lap and place his own hands on her shoulders. She was wearing a cotton shirt, not her usual armour, so he was able to knead the muscles there and run his thumbs along her collarbone.

When he moved his fingers to the base of her neck, brushing the sensitive skin there, Kamui made a small noise. He looked up, but she smiled and whispered to keep going. Ashura slowly let his fingers trail up the sides of her neck, tracing the edge of her jaw back to her ears. He let his thumbs drag along her cheekbones, and when she closed her eyes he leaned in and kissed her cheek. Another noise escaped from Kamui as she tried to tilt her head to meet him, but he pulled back and grinned at her. “Hey now. Let me do my thing, okay?” He chuckled at her pout, pinching her cheeks slightly before returning to his gentle touch.

Eventually he pulled one hand away and placed it on Kamui's back, rubbing at her shoulder blades. Ashura dragged it down slowly, and settled it in the small of her back. Kamui shifted her weight back slightly, and when he slipped his hand under her shirt to rest on bare skin she arched into it. Her skin was so warm, and he found his free hand going to the front of her shirt, resting near the top buttons before really knew what he was doing. He paused, and told Kamui, “Listen... you can tell me to stop at any time. I will stop. I just... I want to see you.”

Kamui's eyes were locked on his as her hands went to grip at his own undone shirt, but otherwise made no movement. “Go ahead.”

His hand on her back held her steady as Ashura leaned in and kissed her cheek again, his agile fingers quickly undoing her shirt. Once he reached the bottom he brought both hands to her shoulders to gently push the material away. Kamui had to release her grip on his shirt as he did so, but she put them back as soon as he was done, her knuckles white as she either resisted covering herself or touching him again – he wasn't sure which.

He glanced down her torso, seeing clear skin without any injuries or scars. He first ran his hands over her shoulders and arms again, noticing goose bumps forming as he passed over them. Skimming over the band of her bra he traced along her ribcage, making his touch firmer when she started squirming. As his fingers drew patterns on her skin, he dropped his head to her shoulder and kissed her there. Ashura dragged his lips to her neck, slowly kissing up her throat and feeling her pulse jump. He pulled away as he reached her jaw, and Kamui finally snapped, begging “Please, kiss me, Ashura _please_ , I need you to--”

He covered her mouth with his own, feeling her shake against him and her hands move up to his shoulders. Her mouth was so sweet, and when he licked at her lips she opened up for him immediately, hands gripping him hard. He lifted Kamui off of his lap and rolled them so that she sat against the headboard, and he knelt between her legs.

He kissed her forehead and repeated that she could tell him to stop, but she waved it away, trying to pull him down to her but he slipped away, finally removing his shirt. Then he set about kissing and touching her everywhere.

Ashura had slept with people before, and had even been in love once, but he had never been so intoxicated by one person. He longed to touch every part of her, with his hands and mouth, breathe in her scent and taste her. Kamui deserved to be worshipped and he was determined to do so. He kissed down both arms and the tips of every finger. He carefully removed her bra, massaging and nuzzling her breasts until Kamui pulled at his hair. He traced the edge of her ribcage and iliac crests with his tongue. He pulled off her leggings, and massaged her feet briefly before slowly stroking up her long legs, finding himself placing wet kisses on her inner thighs.

He kept listening for Kamui's voice telling him to stop, that he was going too fast or being too rough, but she only moaned his name and tried to reach for him. From the place he was now he could smell her arousal, and it made his mouth water. Ashura moved away long enough to look into his lover's eyes. “Kamui, you really need to tell me now, if this is too much...” he let his hand brush along the edge of her underwear, fingers pulling lightly. “I won't go the whole way, not this first night, but...”

Kamui's face and neck were flushed pink, a light sheen of sweat making her skin shine. She was panting slightly but her eyes were bright as she replied, “Ashura... everything you have done to me feels good... don't stop...”

He kissed her quickly, pulling away before she could grab hold of him. He dropped back to between her legs, lowered down and kissed her through the material. Kamui jumped slightly at that, but she lifted her legs as he slowly pulled the underwear away. He trailed his fingers through her curls briefly before letting them find her wet core, the tips gathering slickness and slowly rubbing it around. Her legs twitched on either side of him, but she didn't make a noise until he slid them up over her lips to her clit.

Ashura watched her back arch and her head tip back as she moaned, her hands gripping the sheets below her as she tried not to move too much. His eyes dropped back down to his hands, his free hand stroking her stomach and hips as his other moved in small circles. He finally dropped his head down, brushed her curls back and put his mouth to her. As he groaned at the taste, he felt her buck against him and yelp, “Ashura! Oh, _gods_...!”

He pleasured her as best as he could, concentrating on her clit but also paying attention to her inner lips and occasionally lapping at her centre. He had both hands holding her hips down as she moaned and tried to move against him, but it wasn't until her hands finally sunk into his hair and pulled up, pleading “ _Ashura_... please, just... _ah!_ Wait, I want to...” before he stopped and looked up at her.

Kamui's face was slack with pleasure, her eyes half-lidded and dazed, lips red from being bitten. Her hands were clumsy as she tried to touch his face and he caught one and kissed her fingers. “I need to touch you... _please_... it feels so good... but I...”

Ashura quickly wiped at his face before he moved back up to be level with her, and found himself being pulled in for a fierce kiss. He responded in kind, bracing himself next to her as his hand returned to her centre, rubbing against her clit with his thumb as his middle finger dipping teasingly into her entrance. Kamui arched into his touch, her arms going around his shoulders and back, gripping at his own bare skin. Her breaths were coming quicker, her voice getting a higher pitch to it, so he pulled his mouth away long enough to whisper in her ear “I love you,” before she cried out one last time and bucked against his hand, shuddering. He barely had time to undo the front of his trousers and touch himself before he was coming too, groaning against her neck as she still clung to him.

A few moments past before he was aware of his surroundings again, but as he tried to sit up arms tightened around him. “Kamui... I need to get up.”

“No.” Was the small voice he heard muttered against his hair.

He lifted his head enough to look her in the eyes with a tired smile. With his passions sated, he was starting to feel his age again. “We need to clean ourselves up before we pass out, you know.”

Kamui's eyes were barely open, but she had a small smile of her own as she pulled him even closer to her, hands stroking at his sweaty skin and hair. “Later... just stay here a bit longer.”

He sighed, but gave in to her request, kissing her slowly and tracing patterns on her skin until they ended up falling into a doze.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Dude, het sex is hard to write, wat. Also apparently an alternate title to this fic could be 'hooray for consent' or something :P


End file.
